Holidays.

In hearing my married friends talk about which person’s parents they will spend with this year, I just want to note I enjoy spending the most magical time of the year with my family.  Now I’m sure I’ll be excited to get to know where the genetic makeup of my future husband comes from (which preferably includes genes for red hair, if not there’s always adopting an Irish orphan), but there’s nothing quite like being home for the holidays.  What people don’t often realize is when you get married, you’re not just marrying the person but their ENTIRE family.  And even when their family isn’t physically in the room, they are still there in spirit, or patterns of behavior.  And sorting through your own family of origin is difficult enough, trying to understand another family is a whole other challenge unto itself.  

The holidays are a time that bring out the charm and the oddities of families.  What you may think is a normal tradition, is completely weird to someone else.  And even little things become a big deal when you’re with another family around Christmas.  His mom doesn’t make the right pie; he doesn’t like how your mom decorates the Christmas tree.  You don’t like how the men do nothing in his house on Thanksgiving; he isn’t used to being expected to do anything other than watch football and drink beer.  So the two of you have to have conversations about what you want your marriage/family/relationship to be like. (Ah, the importance of communication.)  This can be easy or a very painful, difficult task (Just a guess, more times than not difficult rather than easy.)  So eventually, I will be ready to have these important, necessary conversations with someone (where are you???)  But until I have to change, I’m going to enjoy my Santa Clause watching, Nutcracker going, 3 church services on Christmas Eve family for as long as I can.