Gay Best Friends.

I just want to clarify up front, I am never breaking up with my gay bff/soulmate/braintwin, Ryan, even after we both find our husbands.  (These hypothetical gorgeous fraternal twins, one gay one straight, are currently living in Portland drinking coffee and attempting to save the world.)  But once you are not single, your chances of finding a fabulous gay friend decrease greatly.  What gay guy wants to be friends with a girl who wants to spend her nights cuddling on the couch instead of the dance floor?  Plus how do you tell your significant other you’d rather spend time with another male even if he is gay?  Being married makes you less fabulous and off the market: to guys of any sexual orientation.  (No worries Sara, your presence will still be required at all dance parties, especially now that Reid knows how to get down.)  

I’m just saying, if you are currently single, look for a gay bff first because once you have found a bf, it will be a challenge.  Plus, a gay bff can help you with the dating process. They have good taste in clothes and can tell you all those awkward things about male anatomy you don’t really want to know and definitely don’t want to ask a potential suitor.  If your gbff thinks your superstar boyfriend is a dud, then let’s be honest, he probably is.  And if you missed your moment because you went to a conservative christian college and don’t have a gbff to give you their vital insight and wisdom, I guess ignorance is bliss.  But just never go to San Francisco, Asheville, or anywhere cool because you will be judged.