Sunday, August 11, 2013

Definition: Date (noun)

Merriam-Webster online has many definitions for the word date.  This however, is the one I wish to discuss at great length:

an appointment to meet at a specified time; especially : a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character

Since about age 14, I have been confused what a date was.  In middle school I still thought it meant when a boy picked you up at your house, met your parents, and then took you somewhere in public.  He usually paid.  As soon as I got to high school and people started "talking" and "dating" I began to question my preconceived notions.  Couples would say they were dating even though they never hung out one on one, and he never paid for dinner.  And I would hang out with guy friends one on one at great length and we were definitely not dating.  What was a date?  How do you know when it is a date?  Unfortunately as time has passed I still have absolutely no idea. Unless someone says, "This is a date" I can not be 100% sure of it.  Here are just a few examples why.

Scenario 1: Go to movie with good friend, you each pay for your own ticket, but you kiss during the movie.

Ruling: Not a Date. (He insists you are "just friends.")

Scenario 2: Go to lunch with guy, he pays.

Ruling: Not a Date. (He's super southern and chivalrous).

Scenario 3: Consisting spend lots of one-on-one time with guy talking about family, past relationships, feelings, how much you appreciate the other person, etc.

Ruling: Not a Date. (He likes your friend/not over ex/can't talk to his bros/needs a counselor)

Scenario 4: Go out, dance, kiss.

Ruling: Sometimes a Date.

I also had a friend tell me it's a date when you think it is.  My response was that  if that is true, I have gone on a lot of dates without the other person knowing.

This is why I don't trust the label.  He may flirt with you, want to spend time with you, and kiss you but it's not a date unless he says it is or you are meeting from Okcupid.

I went on a date once (maybe more without knowing it).  He bought me dinner, brought me flowers, and said nice things.  I was 100% sure when he said: "If this isn't a date, what is it?"

Ruling: Date.

In these situations, I believe words speak louder than actions.  Which is why I make sure my words are always loud and clear. (foot in mouth)


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