My favorite game in the whole world is the check game. I get so excited about how miserably the waitress is going to fail when she guesses who is together, I get so distracted I can hardly eat. If you asked the restaurant world, I date a lot. I would be eating free all the time. Not the case. I can’t fault them though; when you have ten people come in for dinner and half of them are married, it is an easy mistake to make. (That’s what I get for having such normal friends. They get married and I get to awkwardly correct waiters.)
Sometimes, I really want to tell the server what is actually happening between myself and the person they pair me with at the moment. Saying “separate” just gets a little boring, I need some spice in life as well as my food. My responses would go a little like this: “Yeah, he’s cute, but we fall on opposite sides of the political spectrum.” or “Just because we’re both hippies doesn’t mean we’re together.” or “I know we’re cute, believe me I’ve tried. It’s not my choice these checks or separate.” My most frequent response would be “Yes, we are soul mates, including the fact we both like men.”
If I wasn’t so worried about scaring off my male friends, as I already do with my long line of suitors, I would use these responses. For now, I’ll just awkwardly look away or giggle to myself. Or just learn how to communicate telepathically with the waiter so they can also enjoy how ridiculous my life is.
Sometimes, I really want to tell the server what is actually happening between myself and the person they pair me with at the moment. Saying “separate” just gets a little boring, I need some spice in life as well as my food. My responses would go a little like this: “Yeah, he’s cute, but we fall on opposite sides of the political spectrum.” or “Just because we’re both hippies doesn’t mean we’re together.” or “I know we’re cute, believe me I’ve tried. It’s not my choice these checks or separate.” My most frequent response would be “Yes, we are soul mates, including the fact we both like men.”
If I wasn’t so worried about scaring off my male friends, as I already do with my long line of suitors, I would use these responses. For now, I’ll just awkwardly look away or giggle to myself. Or just learn how to communicate telepathically with the waiter so they can also enjoy how ridiculous my life is.
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