In lieu of television shows starting again, I’ve been having some pretty serious discussions with my friends about what is to come this fall. When will Jess and Nick get together? Who will win the voice this year? And most importantly, will Ted ever meet the mother? I have some cynical (they prefer “realistic”) friends who think it’s all a hoax, dream, or hallucination and Ted will end up alone. Freud would say something in their childhood caused this unjustified hatred of happiness and love. Personally, I think it’s from watching 500 Days of Summer and living in a barren wasteland of no potential romance. But I digress.
I still have hope that Ted will meet the mother, and my faith in love will continue to exist. If the writers really are cruel, insensitive people and have his children morph into cats in the series finale, this is what I will do:
1. Yell obscenities.
2. Refuse to believe the show is actually over.
3. Write a letter to CBS.
4. Cry.
5. Watch 500 Days of Summer.
6. Make an online dating account.
7. Never watch TV again.
8. Lose all faith in love.
9. Read 50 Shades of Grey. (Just kidding.)
10. Watch the Notebook.
11. Talk about the finale for the next 6 months.
12. Diagnose Ted with a mental disorder.
13. Blame it on the fact that Ted is too needy.
14. Blame it on Robin.
15. Blame it on the writer’s childhood/ex/parents.
16. Watch the entire series to see what went wrong.
17. Blame it on Lilly.
18. Suit up.
19. Realize that I’m just projecting my feelings onto Ted, and that there’s still hope in the real world. (fingers crossed.)
20. Transfer all my unhealthy emotional investment in television to New Girl.
If there’s hope for someone as awkward as Jess, there’s hope for me.
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