For The Record, I love weddings. Despite the divorce statistics I'm still a huge fan of and believer in marriage, commitment, and love. I totally support being happy and content with one person, and that it is appropriate to honor that decision in a ceremony on a special day with the world (or your 100 best friends). I love the first look, watching a new family forming, friends reuniting, and when parents put their differences aside for their child's special day. People who don't think love exists, trust me it does, I witnessed it six times last summer.
On the other hand, The expectations our American society has about brides' and bridal behavior, is one of my top 5 pet peeves. (I'm not sure if that's accurate, I just want to emphasize how infuriated it makes me.) Call me "liberal," call me a "feminist," call me "alternative," I don't care. My friend Carie Mac would call me (relatively) normal. If I've learned anything about weddings, is that the wedding's all about what I want, right? Maybe I'm just another bridezilla pretending to be a bridebum. But we live in Amurica and you have to tell me it's perfect, even if you secretly think it's tacky as shit. Potential suitors, listen up if you're looking for a care free, stick it to the man, 10-years-down-the-road-hopefully, bride to be.
1. I don't want an engagement ring. But really. I'm not saying that and really expecting a diamond. If you have a family ring, yes. I'll love something sentimental and meaningful. If not, I'd rather go ring shopping with you for our wedding rings. And if I'm wearing a ring prior to vows, it would be nice if you did to. If you are putting a ring on it, so will I. As far as diamonds go, I'd rather spend the money traveling around the world. Plus those pictures will be more interesting for people to look at on facebook than pictures of my tiny nail-bitten hands.
2. I want you to help plan the wedding. If I remember correctly, a marriage is about two people. And I'm not the only one that has to live with potentially awful pictures and poor choices due to my bad taste for the rest of our lives. Plus, if I plan it alone, it'll probably be in a barn and the groomsmen will be wearing flannel. Or it'll be on a mountain and I'll be wearing chacos. So future husband, a word to the wise: let your voice be heard.
3. I will not be changing my name on facebook during the honeymoon. Or maybe ever, I haven't decided yet. Insert comment on our patriarchal society.
4. There will be no pictures of the hotel bed on facebook. Or any statuses that end in #consummation. Some things are meant to be kept between two people, and that's one of them.
5. There will be an epic dance party at the reception. My friends and I have moves better than Jagger. I don't care if we have a band, a DJ, or if my sassy gay friend makes a playlist. Get ready to get low, low, low.
6. We are going to pre-marital counseling. I have no illusions that you can read my mind without me telling you how I feel, or that I'll always know what you need, or that marriage will be easy. Plus, I don't want any future clients to be able to call me a hypocrite. Yikes.
7. "January Wedding" by the Avett Brothers will be played. Even if the wedding is in July.
So if you're looking for a bride-to-be that doesn't care if you show up to your wedding in seersucker, a tux, or khakis, then I'll consider grooming-up. After we boo-up for the next decade first.
On the other hand, The expectations our American society has about brides' and bridal behavior, is one of my top 5 pet peeves. (I'm not sure if that's accurate, I just want to emphasize how infuriated it makes me.) Call me "liberal," call me a "feminist," call me "alternative," I don't care. My friend Carie Mac would call me (relatively) normal. If I've learned anything about weddings, is that the wedding's all about what I want, right? Maybe I'm just another bridezilla pretending to be a bridebum. But we live in Amurica and you have to tell me it's perfect, even if you secretly think it's tacky as shit. Potential suitors, listen up if you're looking for a care free, stick it to the man, 10-years-down-the-road-hopefully, bride to be.
1. I don't want an engagement ring. But really. I'm not saying that and really expecting a diamond. If you have a family ring, yes. I'll love something sentimental and meaningful. If not, I'd rather go ring shopping with you for our wedding rings. And if I'm wearing a ring prior to vows, it would be nice if you did to. If you are putting a ring on it, so will I. As far as diamonds go, I'd rather spend the money traveling around the world. Plus those pictures will be more interesting for people to look at on facebook than pictures of my tiny nail-bitten hands.
2. I want you to help plan the wedding. If I remember correctly, a marriage is about two people. And I'm not the only one that has to live with potentially awful pictures and poor choices due to my bad taste for the rest of our lives. Plus, if I plan it alone, it'll probably be in a barn and the groomsmen will be wearing flannel. Or it'll be on a mountain and I'll be wearing chacos. So future husband, a word to the wise: let your voice be heard.
3. I will not be changing my name on facebook during the honeymoon. Or maybe ever, I haven't decided yet. Insert comment on our patriarchal society.
4. There will be no pictures of the hotel bed on facebook. Or any statuses that end in #consummation. Some things are meant to be kept between two people, and that's one of them.
5. There will be an epic dance party at the reception. My friends and I have moves better than Jagger. I don't care if we have a band, a DJ, or if my sassy gay friend makes a playlist. Get ready to get low, low, low.
6. We are going to pre-marital counseling. I have no illusions that you can read my mind without me telling you how I feel, or that I'll always know what you need, or that marriage will be easy. Plus, I don't want any future clients to be able to call me a hypocrite. Yikes.
7. "January Wedding" by the Avett Brothers will be played. Even if the wedding is in July.
So if you're looking for a bride-to-be that doesn't care if you show up to your wedding in seersucker, a tux, or khakis, then I'll consider grooming-up. After we boo-up for the next decade first.
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